Little man, it’s 11pm and I’m standing here cutting your grapes in half for your lunchbox for daycare tomorrow. It’s a huge pain the ass, I’m tired, and you’re probably old enough that you can eat a whole grape by now, but I love you and I don’t want you to choke.
Like, I NEVER want you to choke, but I definitely don’t want you to choke if I am not there. If you choke when I am not around, and I hear about it, I’m going to feel like there wasn’t enough done. Because let’s face it, if your dad or I are not there, as great as everyone else is on this planet that we live on… there will have NEVER been enough done to try to pop that grape out of your mouth in our opinion.
So, here I am, at 11pm…cutting your grapes… and these are the psycho thoughts that go through my head.
I love you, little guy. Chew your food.